50 Cycles Worth Breaking
The first Key Channel of Change in the Life Spiral is Breaking Cycles. It is piece of the pie where we learn the power of choosing recovery every damn day. We are all recovering something. Often an essential part of ourself and our history. What we recover helps us to repair the damage that’s been done, both to ourselves and others. This includes the land and all life.
Far more than half of what we think, how we feel and how we act is influenced by the past. By the unconscious. I have a vivid memory of a teacher in grad school stating it around at least 75%. That’s why we become embodied - so we can fully transform. That’s why we free expression - so we can fully practice. That’s why we tend spirit - so we can fully resource. That’s why we align dreams - so we can fully integrate.
Breaking cycles is the courage we demonstrate to admit when we’ve hit our limit with something and finally commit to change. For real this time. For the long haul. This is our assignment always, but especially in 2024 - the Year of Strength. We are all being asked to break the cycles that keep us defended and disconnected from love. In all its meanings and forms.
Here are just 50 to get you started. Comment with any you come up with or which ones you want to break.
Ignoring hunger cues i.e. not stopping working or a task or a special interest even though you can feel your stomach is empty, knawing and hungry.
Ignoring fullness cues i.e. not stopping eating when you feel fullness because it tastes so good, the show is still on or the uncomfortable emotion is still there.
Skimping on sleep i.e. not prioritizing it, always going with the minimum, feeling angry toward it
Pretending you don’t have a preference
Acting like you are okay and don’t need help (whether it be physical or emotional)
Not using I statements in conflicts i.e. using we, you or she/he/they/etc. …basically everything except I.
Thinking it’s better to “solve it” immediately in a frantic fashion than take at least a breathe and then reassess.
Raising your voice while in conflict
Staying in conflict for too long - not knowing when to take a break/pause
Not going to bed mad and instead staying up late fighting / processing
Downplaying the power of naps even if you don’t fall asleep - in fact maybe even better not to. But literally just resting (not moving) with your eyes closed for up to 20 minutes.
Being indecisive when committing to plans
Pretending to want to do something instead of disappointing someone
Lying instead of disappointing someone
Avoiding ancestral work because all your ancestors “are bad”
Avoiding giving feedback to a friend because its uncomfortable and you can just “put it aside” but you don’t actually.
Always having to have the last word
Being the first person to speak
Being the person who never gets to speak
Being the person who waits to speak
Blaming people, places, things, etc.
Judging people, places, things, etc.
Taking the bait
Wanting to die
Making your schedule a busy bee who then crashes over and over and over again
Believing people don’t like you
Believing there is no hope or point
Not responding to someone because “it’s been too long now” “it’s awkward”
Attempting to be an A+ employee instead of a C+ or even B employee.
Excusing self made overwhelm and chaos as “being busy” and thus acceptable and normal, even celebrateable (new word)
Being confused or uncomfortable or “afraid of making a mistake” when it comes to topics of gender, especially the experiences of or your relationships with trans and nonbinary folks
Assuming someone feels or thinks something or someway about you without actually asking them - without checking in to see if its true
Denying you are an artist, writer, dancer, expert, painter, the list goes on…you are what you say you are, own it!
Smoking too much weed - being dependent
Assuming you can bring partners, loved ones, friends, whomever to an established plan without first checking with the other person
Saying you’re comfortable doing something or can do something, but really can’t or really don’t want to (people pleasing)
Doing everything with your partner
Doing everything alone
Ignoring hydration cues
Shame
Self hatred
Making excuses for your parents or in-laws
Thinking your parents or in-laws or partners or friends are going to change
Ignoring tracking your finances
Obsessing over being healthy
Being afraid of missing out
Believing you are always being attacked
Overexercising - being over active
Believing you are better than other people
Believing you are unloveable
For more guidance on what cycle you are meant to break, book one of my FPJ Spiral readings.
